MORRISSEY has revealed his thoughts about life, death, suicide and being alone, in a frank interview.
The former Smiths frontman described himself as "waiting to explode” and said he was happiest when on his own: “Life is a series of fences, I find.”
In the interview for Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs, presenter Kirsty Young asked him: “Have you thought about being in control of your death?”
He replied: “Yes, I have. And I think this self-destruction is honourable. I always thought it was. It’s an act of great control and I understand people who do it.”
Later asked which luxury he would take to make his life more bearable on the mythical island, Morrissey, 50, laughed: “Well, I would either take a bed, because I like to go to bed. Or I would take a bag of sleeping pills because I might want to make a quick exit.
“I would really take the bed, I think, because going to bed is the highlight of everybody’s day. I like to be hidden and I like to sink – it’s the brother of death. It means we can switch our brains off when we go to bed and forget about ourselves.”
With hits including Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now, he explained: “I see the poetry in everything and I see the sadness in everything and I take that and I carry it with me. And that’s quite difficult.
“I feel profoundly touched by people’s sadness – that’s the thing I most see in other people.”
He told of leading a different life. “Naturally, I am quite separate. I’m not a celebrity, I’m not a part of anything and the music industry has never grabbed me, in the way that the sea might grab a sailor.
“I think the world is quite dark and I think it is quite mad and I think to be a human being is quite a task. Everybody dies screaming. They don’t die laughing their heads off, as far as I know.”
The enigmatic singer added: “Nothing comforts me at all. I think the world is a mesmerizing mess. I think human beings are mesmerizing messes, and there we are.
“I’m fascinated by the brevity of life and how people use their time, because we all know the axe will fall. It’s inevitable as you and I are sitting here now that the Tuesday will arrive when you, Kirsty, are not here.
“Nobody can reach you by telephone, nobody can write to you and nobody can email you. You just won’t be here.
“So we all know this fact and with that at the forefront of our mind in everything that we do, I find it fascinating how people spend their time.”
Morrissey talked about growing up in Stretford. “I was just considered to be unbalanced, which helped me greatly, because it simply confirmed everything I knew – I didn’t want to grow up to be anything that I knew. I wanted a completely different life and whatever that entailed.
“I think my parents were very worried for a very long time. But then when you become successful it seems to authenticate any kind of insanity or madness, however people view it.”
He said university was not an option for him. “I was working class, we had no money. We lived in central Manchester in the late sixties, early seventies, when I went to school and it was a very barren time.
“Things didn’t begin for me until I left school. Then I began to become educated, which is a bitterly sad story.”
The lyricist said his father thought “I was a bit of a lunatic” when he was a teenager. “So that was the great separating point.” While his mother had taken “a very balanced view” of his career and success.
But Morrissey indicated he was happy with how he had lived his life. “I think so. I think I was in a very awkward situation and I managed somehow to wiggle out and not much more can be asked of me.
“I think if you reach 50 and you’re not at one with yourself, whatever that may be, then you’re in serious trouble because you’ve had time to work things out. And there isn’t much time left.”
Not that he has any plans to settle down. “Settling down? I’m waiting to explode – no, I don’t want to settle down until I’m carried out feet first. I don’t want to be any kind of happy couple with a photograph on the television set. I find it quite embarrassing. I’m happier with horses.
“You have to get involved with relatives and other people’s great aunt Bessies and things like that. And I’d rather not. I’m 50 years old now and a pattern emerges and I accept that and I don’t mind at all, really.”
During the recording, Kirsty told him that she was a fan of his while she was still at school and wondered if he ever felt uncomfortable having obsessive followers dedicated to the cult of Morrissey?
”No, not really. I understand the reasons why. I think they feel I’ve been slighted generally and I’m disregarded and I’m overlooked and so forth. And I think they’re quite right. Nothing’s ever easy. I release a new single and it’s very hit and miss whether anybody will play it. And most people don’t play it.
“I want people to hear the music. I don’t want to be an island, except emotionally.”
Morrissey could not answer a question about who he was now or who he felt himself to be as a performer. “I have absolutely no idea. I really do not. Life leads me, I follow it and I have no idea where I will be in two hours’ time, which is interesting. I do like to keep moving.”
He recalled his first performance, as a child on a table top at home in Manchester, singing Marianne Faithfull’s 1965 hit Come And Stay With Me.
“It’s embarrassing and I would never really say this, apart from the fact that we’re on national radio and I don’t have much choice. But I would stand on the table and sing – and I was off even at that stage.”
The BBC programme invites castaways to choose eight records to take to the island. Morrissey’s selection included tracks by the New York Dolls, The Ramones and Mott The Hoople, while his choice of book was The Complete Oscar Wilde.
Known as Moz to his fans, he stormed off stage earlier this month after being hit on the head with a drink thrown from the crowd at the Liverpool Echo Arena.
That incident came two weeks after the singer collapsed during a concert in Swindon and was taken to hospital.
Morrissey's choice of songs:
1) New York Dolls: (There’s Gonna To Be A) Showdown
2) Marianne Faithfull: Come And Stay With Me
3) The Ramones: Loudmouth
4) Lou Reed and The Velvet Underground: The Black Angel’s Death Song
5) Klaus Nomi: Der Nussbaum
6) Nico: I’m Not Saying
7) Iggy and the Stooges: Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell
8) Mott The Hoople: Sea Diver
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You have to laugh as you run at the fence and laugh when you get over it. My fences are always nincompoops. I would have to die laughing especially at the people who try to make what is dark for them dark for others. Understanding life's negative side is enough to keep me laughing till the end. It means you understand it and the perpetrators are laughable. Being in a dark place and needing help is one thing, but being in a dark place and being vindictive, spiteful to others is another thing.I like to close the curtains at night with a smile on my face and say, goodnight world I will see you tomorrow.
He's an egotistic attention seeker.
He's an egotistic attention seeker.
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29/11/2009 at 12:43
Says the person with the unusual moniker that they have to 'grab attention to theirself' Oh the irony!
Morrissey, do you think many of us are happy with this prison called normality / conformity and wouldn't escape if we could?
Come on Mozzer, lifes not that bad - cheer up mate!
I admire Morrissey after reading that. I don't know much about his music. From the background he came from, he could easily have settled for the mediocre like most people. He chose not to. You're not mad, mate. Different. Unsheeplike. Authentic. And as for the evanescence of life: Unresting death, a whole day nearer now, Making all thought impossible but how And where and when I shall myself die.
When I reached a place where I could see myself and my own depression,non conformity,negativity and worries about humanity, I found life easier in many ways,compared to not knowing or understanding my own make up, and constantly trying to cheer myself up. In my case the depressed state passes, and is replaced with idealism,ideas,optimism,positivity,a warmness towards my fellow human beings and boundless energy.As relentless as depession and speeded up until Im exhausted. Not knowing myself and not being able to see the pattern was chaos and a less productive life than I wished for.I understand Morrissey in seeing the sadness in people and the relief of sinking into bed ,in my case in a totally blacked out room,to sleep and hopefully pass some time until its over.The answer for me has been in the acceptance.which Esso Blue describes so well.Ive also enjoyed the writings of Oscar Wilde as he seems to speak for people in both states and had that acceptance of himself,using it in a creative way.Morrissey has done the same in his lyrics.When creative people who have experienced depression speak out its so helpful to others for the purpose of identifying with someone with similar problems. I found myself quite late in life,mainly because I never found that identification. People didnt speak about depression,and even the depressed believed they were weak and it was a matter of pulling yourself together! All I heard even from strangers in the street was'Cheer up luv.It might never happen'.I do know people meant well. but it never failed to make me feel worse.No one says it these days,so I know that identificaton and self acceptance were the key.Creative opportunities also helped.Art,creative writing,drama,only possible in the 'high' periods,but affecting the low periods,in the sense that I was more aware that when it passed I had something to go back to.To look forward to.I cant speak for how continuous depression must feel,I can only imagine.Morrissey describes it so well.I want to understand as all I ask for is not to be liked or even loved.More important, is to be understood.
Look at esso blue how profound he is.
Probably sick of all them draws.
You just can't win can you...
There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part; you can't even passively take part, and you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop. And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all!(mario savio)
its either that or just give up. its all about choice i suppose.dont waste your life, experience it.
why settle for cider when you can have champagne?
i for one will be forever indebted to the man. he made a cold bedsit warm.
thanks moz.
Wonderful. Morrissey always conjures up perfectly succinct analysis. I always feel immense assurance whenever i hear his words. Surrogate escape for me. Thanks Moz.
What a pretentious bore.
strange how he never married
dorrissey. there was a time i really loved you... circa 82-87 to be precise.
everything else has been very average.
but what you come out with now, is tired and in-effective. you have become pastiche, boring and utterly transparent.
lyrically you have become obvious and the music your band provides you with is verging on pub-rock.
you are 'not a pop-star'. hilarious quote. i have never known a bigger diva in pop.
i'm sorry, but the world has stopped listening - with good reason.
you just aren't important now baby...
Morrisey - the Gordon Brolwn of pop music. Time this dreary has-been hung up his gladioli and ear-piece.
BeJayzuss mozza cheer up for gods sake.