And it wouldn't end there. There would be no `come back when you've dried out old boy.' I would be finished at the Evening News for good.
So why is drugs cheat Dwain Chambers crying crocodile tears and sobbing UK Athletics are treating him like a "leper."
Sprinter Chambers has freely admitted that he was under the influence of drugs when representing Great Britain.
I'm not talking about a headache tablet - I'm talking about the designer steroid THG.
That drug is on the UK athletics banned list because it artificially improves an athlete's performance.
When he took that steroid, Chambers must have been aware of the consequences but he showed two fingers to the authorities and went ahead.
He served a two-year ban for that little "indiscretion" but has now picked up his athletics career.
Earlier this week Chambers was selected to represent Great Britain in the coming World Indoor Championships even though the UK Athletic selection committee were "unanimous in their desire not to select him."
Apparently it was a loophole in the rules which left the selection committee no choice.
Frankly, I find that ludicrous. If the England football manager doesn't want to select a certain player then he doesn't select him. If the Test cricket selection committee don't want to pick a certain player then they don't pick him. Rules and regulations don't come into it.
So at the coming World Indoor Championships this country will be represented by a drug cheat. Doesn't it make you proud to be British?
And all we've had from Chambers since his selection is whingeing and moaning.
"I've done the crime and served my time," he whines.
"But now I'm being treated like a leper."
Dwain lad you've done the crime but you have certainly not done the time.
If those do-gooders at UK Athletics had an ounce of common sense they would have banned you from representing this country for the remainder of your years.
You deserve nothing less. Tweet