INDULGE me for a moment because I need to get this question off my chest. Do you have to be an expert spitter to play professional football?

Watching a player gob out a mouthful of his bodily fluids on to the pitch - or on to an opponent - is disgusting enough as it is.

But with the swine flu virus all around us player spitting isn't just disgusting, it's downright dangerous.

The government's Health Protection Agency have warned players that their filthy habit will spread the infection but I'm afraid that well-meaning body is spitting against the wind.

If you were a defender, how would you feel about marking Blackburn's El-Hadji Diouf right now?

Diouf is a serial spitter. He gobs for Great Britain. If he could play as well as he spits, he'd be a world-beater.

Three of Diouf's team-mates went down with swine flu last week. It's no wonder the Chelsea defenders wouldn't go within spitting distance of the Blackburn striker at Stamford Bridge last Saturday.

In fact, in all seriousness, I'm surprised that Saturday's match at Stamford Bridge wasn't postponed. The swine flu virus isn't necessarily fatal but it's obviously virulent. How long before the Chelsea players start dropping like flies?

Swine flu danger

You would think that, under the circumstances, clubs would be instructing their players to keep their spit to themselves during a match but quite clearly that hasn't happened.

I watched United's Carling Cup match against Barnsley on TV the other night. Match? It was more like a spitting contest. There was enough phlegm spewed out during the game to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool. I'm assuming that swine flu is an airborne virus. So it wasn't only the United and Barnsley players who were at risk of picking up the infection - it was the 20,000-strong crowd at Oakwell. Wonderful that, isn't it? You pay good money to catch swine flu.

I've often said that football hasn't changed much since I was masquerading as a professional footballer back in the sixties and seventies.

Well, I was wrong. Because with hand-on-heart I can honestly say that spitting on the pitch was frowned upon in my playing days. Divers, yes. Cheaters, yes. Thugs, yes. Spitters? Certainly not.

In fact, the only time I spat on to the pitch during my entire career was when I swallowed a fly while playing for Charlton Athletic against Derby County. Yes, I was ashamed of myself but what else could I have done?

Why is spitting all the rage in football right now? I have no idea. Is it a macho thing? I can spit further than you. I could hit your centre-half in the eye with a gobful from 20 paces. Perhaps there is an inside gobbing game taking place in football that us outsiders know nothing about.

Whatever is going on I wish the players would pack it in. Spitting during a match is offensive to observe and unhealthy.

When you are at work you don't spit on the office floor, do you? A football pitch is a footballer's place of work - so why do the players spit on it? If, for reasons unknown to me, today's game makes players produce excessive amounts of spittle then I suggest that they tuck half a dozen paper tissues down their pants before going out to play.

And an anti-spitting paragraph should be added to the rule book. One gobful expelled on to the playing area and it's a yellow card. Do it again and it's the Order Of The Early Bath - where you can spit away to your heart's content.

What do you think? Have your say.