RETURNING to your local madhouse any day now by public demand: the crazy world of Premiership football.
So strap yourself in and enjoy the ride. Nine months of Fergie's fury. The madness of King Jose. Warnock the Weird. Tears and tantrums. Divers and divas. Red cards for Rooney. Rasberries for Ronaldo.
Does Theo Walcott really exist? Is Peter Crouch anorexic? Stay tuned in and watch it all unfold. Mad, bad, sad and unmissable. Yes, folks. Another Premiership season is upon us.
So what do I expect from the nine months of mayhem stretched out before us?
No, I'll rephrase that. What hopes do I have for the new Premiership season? I say `hopes', because in football there is invariably the world of difference between what you hope for and what you expect.
I hope - but don't expect - that Chelsea will not be crowned champions of English football for the third successive season.
If they do so, it will be further proof - if any is needed - that the Premiership title can be bought.
I hope that Roman Abramovich slings his hook and buys a different toy to play with in a different country.
Let's see how special the Special One really is without that bottomless fund at his disposal. Use your brain rather than Abramovich's millions to win the title, Jose, and I really will accept that you are the tactical genius you keep telling us you are.
Magician
Meanwhile, I have to ask the question: has the bubble burst for Bolton Wanderers?
Sadly I believe it has, for no other reason than that even a master magician such as Sam Allardyce can't keep plucking rabbits out of his hat.
Big Sam himself has questioned whether he has gone as far as he can at the Reebok, and I couldn't agree more.
He's made two excellent summer signings in Quinton Fortune from Manchester United and Abdoulaye Meite from Marseille, but the blunt truth is that Bolton's image as a small-town club is making it increasingly difficult for Allardyce to sign players of sufficient quality to take his club onto the next level.
Allardyce will have been devastated to miss out on the England job, which he had set his heart on, but it is clear that he feels he deserves a bigger stage to fulfil his managerial ambitions.
With a manager such as him at the helm, Bolton need not fear a relegation dog-fight over the coming campaign but, in my book, it would be one miracle too far to expect the Wanderers to be challenging for a European place in nine months' time.
Prediction: 15th
Do you agree? Have your say.
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15TH..... 15TH, get a grip son, it may be Citeh down there, Wigan may find thier real level, but no.. a more realistic prediction would be somewhere between 10th & 5th, depending on Big Sams Annual late signing event. We HAve a team and a Team spirit, and there have been a couple of other signings who are looking good.
i bet hes a biased city fan
Erm, sorry Paul, no I don't agree. This kind of tripe has been spouted about Bolton for the past 4 seasons, during each of which, the club has progressed and become stonger. The 'small town club' tag has always worked wonders and will continue to do so (Bolton's actually the largest town in Europe by the way). I think Bolton will end up between 10th and 5th (ie, challenging for Europe).
Your a clown, the premiership is bought every season and bolton have a better squad than last year and are going to play fewer games and we still got at least 11million to spend on a striker (8.5 from johnson + 400K hamman + 2million Jedi) We've got rid of old players who were past it, and brough in ONLY quality no bench warmers this season, with diouf back, and vaz te up front only a clown would say our bubble has burst.
Hincey you really are a bitter blue. You are making predictions about a squad that is still being put together. We will sign at least three more first team players to add to our european campaign. Remember my friend we have done all this before. I predict 7th spot.
I don't think Bolton will be 15th. they'll be way above that. 15th and below is reserved for the really poor teams like Manchester City and their very jealous supporters!
Sad innit Paul. All these replies and not one in your favour.
Obviously you're all alone in your beliefs, you should move darn sarf and work on Fleet St, you'll feel right at home. There's plenty of Bolton "knockers" there; and you being a bit of a ....
Jealously is too milder word for it. Paul Hince is once again showing his regular bias towards Manchester City. It has to be said that they would have given their right arm to have achieved what Bolton have over the past few seasons.
You sure Bolton is the largest town in Europe?
Thought it was Kiruna in Sweden.
ps. I disagree too
Hince,I understand your a journalist, and its your job to write stories about teams, but at heart, your just another one from the whinging boo camp, more bothered about knocking how other teams are doing before your own. We are looking like having one of the stongest teams going into this season, especially if some of the rumours of signings of the next week are concerned, and have got rid of the has beens. Allardyce maybe upset about not getting the England job, but I think he is proffessional enough not to let it affect Boltons season.
I do agree, our small back water town status does seem to be costing us signings, ie, Hamann and Saviola, but, who cares. We have one of the best midfielders in the country, one of the best keepers, and in my humble, one of the hardest working, and best support strikers in Kevin Davies.
Hint of advice, try getting behind and supporting your team like us whites do, instead of knocking us. Its support local sides need, not your brand of bitter pessimistic prittle prattle. I recommend, not that Im bothered, you try getting behind Pierce this season a bit more than last season, instead of calling for his head everytime he looses a game. We will see come next may, and I will be back here either sayin I told you so, or with a knife and fork, and large slice of humble pie! Youll be eating grumble pie all season whatever happens, as its in your bitter boo nature.
Had a good laugh at your prediction of BWFC finishing 15th, keep taking the medicine with all the other pundits who in recent years have had to eat their hats and shave off their moustaches, never write off Sam and his team. For me another close call for Europe is on the cards, you have been told, yet again!!
Dave
Hince is simply a joke and should be treated as such. He is also a good reason not to buy the MEN, which should interest his editor!
Worryingly, Hince was a better footballer than he is a journalist. Says it all, really.
bolton have a squad over rated over aged losers. everytime you talk to a bolton fan they go oh well we do this and we do that we should be in europe we should do this. well i'd like to agree with paul as every game that you see bolton winning is though fortune and fortune alone.(and not quinton) forget it boys you good run is over
I can't believe someone so involved in football can make such a prediciton. How they allowed you to get that job is beyond me!!
at least we have a bubble to burst, the only bubble hince and the rest of the city fans have is the one they all live in it must be MASSIVE.