A dad-of-two from Rossendale has turned his back on a 25-year marriage – to become a woman.

Nikki Jane Weston, formerly known as Nigel, hopes to soon complete a sex change that will forever alter her and her family’s life.

The Newchurch-born 45-year-old has grown long hair and now has breasts and is halfway towards being the female she has always wanted to be.

In a heartfelt interview with the Free Press Nikki, who has two grandchildren, has revealed her cross-gender story.

Ever since the tender age of seven Nigel James Weston felt like a woman trapped in a man’s body.

Almost 40 years on – after raising two children in a marriage spanning a quarter of a century – Nigel has changed her name to Nikki and is half way through a sex change.

The 45-year-old truck driver has lived a life of secrecy - often dressing in his sister’s clothes when young and constantly fighting a battle with feminine feelings.

Female

Now divorced Nikki is becoming the female she feels she should have been born as at birth.

Nikki intends to find a male partner further down the line but first of all wants to find herself amidst a brand new life.

In a frank interview, Nikki revealed the torment of being born as a man, the painful ending to a 25-year marriage, failing to clear her name at a recent court hearing, plans to rebuild her life and the relief of finally deciding to go ahead with a sex change operation that will change things forever.

Born Nigel James Weston on 9 May 1964 at the family home in Newchurch, Nikki attended St Peter’s Catholic Primary School in Newchurch before moving on to what used to be St Ambrose’s on Haslingden Road, Rawtenstall.

As a youngster Nigel loved swimming, shopping running and tennis but never liked more traditionally masculine activities such as football, cricket and rugby and getting changed in the boys changing room.

At seven years old feelings a young Nigel couldn’t understand happened.

Speaking from her Rossendale home, Nikki said: "I had a very happy childhood. But when I got to seven or eight I realised it. You look at the girls and think why can’t I wear that, but you don’t understand because you are so young."

Nikki, who now works 40 hours a week for a national parcel delivery company, had previously worked in transport and textiles ever since stopping work as a pool attendant at Marl Pits aged 16.

She added: "It was very difficult. It continued though and every opportunity I got, I would get dress in my sister’s clothes. It started with her shoes and underwear and progressed from there. That continued until I was 16 when she got married and had moved out."

When Nigel hit 14 he realised what he was doing and began wondering why he didn’t have the female body parts he craved.

"It was a surreal feeling though," said Nikki. "Because I still had feelings for the opposite sex and wanted to be with them despite wanting to be dressed as a female."

As a 16-year-old boy Nigel, who has a sister and two brothers, met his future wife Michelle.

"It was the time of my life where the feelings of me wanting to be a female had subsided. I was concentrating on my relationship with Michelle," said Nikki. "We were very much in love."

In 1984, after Nigel got his own place, Michelle fell pregnant with their first child and the couple later married at Haslingden Registry office.

Their first child was born in January 1985 and their second a year later when the pair were living together in Newchurch.

But at 22 Nigel’s feelings of wanting to be Nikki returned forcing her to reveal the secret to her wife.

"It was getting horrendous at times so I thought I had to do something about it," said Nikki. "It was a big shock but we kept going because of the children I suppose."

While the pair raised their children, Nigel often dressed in Michelle’s clothes when possible, and fought the need to be female as it returned in bouts throughout the 1990s.

"Whatever Michelle had in her wardrobe I put on," said Nikki. But I didn’t want the children to see what was going on. It felt brilliant but I soon had to go back to normal life. That continued year on year off," she added.

Nigel also sought help from a GP and psychiatrist who encouraged Nigel not to worry.

Marriage

"It was upsetting but after that I thought I have got to beat this for my children and my marriage.

"But I knew deep down inside I couldn’t beat the feelings," said Nikki

In 2003 Nigel saw a specialist who helped him through dark times to emerge as Nikki.

When the children grew up and left the Weston household it was shortly after that Nigel’s wife said she wanted a divorce.

By this time Nigel was on anti-depressants which were numbing the feelings of wanting to be a woman.

Nikki added: "In January 2005 the feelings were so strong I said I can’t cope with this any more. I wanted to go for gender reassignments."

In 2006 Nigel started taking hormone tablets – Spironolactone, a drug that blocks male hormones, and oestrogen, to increase the female features such as the hips and the busts as well as gaining smoother skin and less facial and body hair.

"It was a huge relief to start doing that," said Nikki. "The marriage just limped along. But when you love someone that much you will do anything to keep the marriage going."

She added: "From then I really haven’t looked back.

"I have started to be at peace with myself and started buying women’s clothes off the internet."

In July last year Nigel changed his name to Nikki Jane Weston – a name she says she has always liked.

"I liked my name Nigel James and my initials so I thought why should I change it too much.

Legal

"I am happy with who I am now. Nigel doesn’t exist anymore and I’m not allowed to use it for legal reasons," she said.

Reflecting on her life so far Nikki said: "Leaving my marital home was the most horrible and painful thing I have had to do. I had to do it though for survival. I couldn’t live as that person anymore. I could have walked out and become Nikki many years ago but I stayed with my family. It hurts knowing you have put your family through this but I know I need to start getting on with my life.

"It ended a lifetime of hiding away while I brought my family up. I didn’t ask to be born like this but it has happened and I have to deal with it the best way I can now," she added.

And looking into what she thinks will be a bright future Nikki said: "Hopefully come this time next year I will be complete as Nikki Jane – the female I should have been as at birth. Do I like men now? ‘Yes I do’. But I just want to find myself first."

She added: "I was told in 2008 that you are looking at between two and four years for the full sex change operation.

"I am enjoying some good nights out clubbing in Manchester with friends and have enjoyed letting my hair down for once.

"All my male clothes have gone, I don’t have one single item. My appearance is as a female all the time now. I go to bed as a female and work and shop as a female."

Following a referral on 14 December this year Nikki is expecting to find out when the final part of her operation will take place.

"I can’t wait for the operation," she said. "It will be some point next year I hope. I’ll be off work for three months and won’t be able to walk for two weeks. My body will go through a massive trauma and I will learn how to be a woman. People say I’m nuts but it is worth it. It’s like saying I want that car and you work towards getting it."

Summing up her personal journey, Nikki said: "It is a life I have chosen. I feel I have nothing to hide from anymore and I’m proud of who I am.

"I have had my life on hold for so many years. I still love my children and my grandchildren and care about my ex-wife."