Opinion: Diane Cooke

November 12, 2009

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ALL hail Jane Fonda as the 71-year-old prepares to get married for the fourth time to a man of 67. Despite having a false hip she has declared that her sex life is better than ever, which should make anyone under the age of 25 gag and give every septuagenarian gentleman a reason to live.

Helen Mirren has hinted at the same.

Well, you only need to see the pic of her in THAT bikini to see why she’s being well looked after in the intimacy department.

Likewise, Joan Collins, having married a man 30 years her junior, appears to be well pleased with herself.

In fact, a little research could reveal that the over 60s are doing it more than the under 40s.

They’ve got more time, no kids or job pressures, so what better way than spending it in bed with a loved one.

The downside is – and it’s not romantic – the incidence of syphilis in the 45-64 age group has risen by 139 per cent, along with every other type of sexually transmitted disease. Divorce, a return to the dating scene and a refusal to use condoms are the main contributory factors for this alarming statistic.

But back to loved-up Jane. Some believe her declaration was ‘too much information’. But what’s so wrong with telling the world that she’s a fully functioning female with a healthy libido?

She must be so tired of all the sympathetic looks and oldie chat about companionship, cats and cocoa.

Seventy is the new 50 for God’s sake.

By way of a contrast Manchester council recently spent £8,000 publishing an illustrated leaflet on Sex For The Over 50s.

They may have been better served spending that money on free condoms for that age group.

However, it offers tips on how to spice up a long-term relationship, find new love after divorce, the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases and tips on how to use a condom properly.

Naturally, it caused uproar on websites when the story was published.

Ungracious grannies said that the money should have been spent on schools and filling pot-holes.

One frustrated lady agreed the leaflet was essential: "It’s for you men to learn something ...basic biology...if my sex life is anything to go by".

Other pensioners insisted they didn’t need advice (not since they’d reached 40 anyway).

One even cracked a brilliant joke.

Two men talking. One says "So how’s your sex life?".

"Oh nothing special. I’m having pension sex."

"Pension sex?"

" Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on."

But the sweetest comment was this: "I am 82 and still very sexually active. Never give up on your love life."

Growing old suddenly doesn’t seem so bad any more.

Jungle celebs can stay there

I CAN'T bear to watch another series of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! We’ve seen every form of creepy crawly torture, eaten countless crocodile willies and suffered tarantulas in every orifice. The format is tired. Besides, what further indescribable horror can they possibly inflict upon the viewers?

Well, I know one. Jordan – the re-visit. Yes, she’s going back in, but do we care....erm, no. The only reason Katie Price was interesting last time was because she got Peter Andre so hot and bothered he was compelled to compose and subsequently propose. This time it just won’t work.

The TV company says she’s a crowd-puller. But nobody likes Jordan any more because we’re all firmly in Pete’s camp. He seems a nice bloke and we can’t understand how he ever tolerated such a self-obssessed woman.

I’m a viewer, get me out of here.

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Angie33 , Manchester (12/11/2009 at 11:23)

Diane-You Minx.Ill tell you a secret but keep it to yourself.First a bit of advice for the ladies.Never judge a book by its cover.The more manly,look the part,quantity and numbers of conquests matters more than quality,talk about it a lot men are,the less likely they are to know their way around a female body,or female desires.One memorable time for me was a younger man 27 when I was 40.A virgin who still lived with mum and always smelt of clothing dried in the fresh air.In his bedroom there were model planes and the complete series of Adrian Mole,which was in his favour,being a soulmate of Adrian myself.This experience changed my views,taste in men and understanding of how sexual experience isnt as important as intelligence,and men are born to be good at it,or never will be.

tiggerluc, somewhere in shaw (12/11/2009 at 11:57)

Helen Mirran is stunning

I just hope I am as active in the bedroom department when im their age/

Idroid, city centre (12/11/2009 at 12:42)

I like what you did there, calling her Jordan, but as you well know, we'll be seeing Kate, who'll be trying to win back public approval. I said we, because you will watch.

Englisc Stannes, North Manchester (12/11/2009 at 12:57)

I wonder if she will pull out her Baberella outfit on her wedding night. Cor! What a way to go out in this world. Myopic with a hint of lavender in the air and 3 in 1 oil to move the hip joints. Cor!

Mark,Radcliffe. (12/11/2009 at 13:21)

Angie33...I knew you couldnt resist the allure of having to respond to the labelling above.

Angie33 , Manchester (12/11/2009 at 13:39)

Mark.Yes Ive got it all to do flitting here and there.Its exhausting.

Mark,Radcliffe. (12/11/2009 at 13:47)

Angie33...Is that a typo? because flitting and flirting are very close on the keyboard.

Blue Dude, Manchester. (12/11/2009 at 14:20)

Sex after marriage, that's why they call it "tie the knot".
Too tired.
Kids might hear.
I've just made the bed.
Ok you get your quarterly oil change and as for Angie and "adrian mole", or Ronnie "langauge Timothy" Corbett did he take is anorak off...
And as for STD / OAP (or STI / Senior Citizens for the PC losers out there), the thought of Victor Meldrew waiting in line at the clap clinic is too funny to visualise but definitely worth a re-visit if they come back for a new series when he is a widower, i can imagine the doc examining him and saying "i dont believe it". Plenty of comic mileage in "one foot down the clinic".

Angie33 , Manchester (12/11/2009 at 14:52)

Blue dude.Now dont get jealous.Ive got enough with Mark flirting with me.Yes he did wear an anorak,or more a car coat his mum bought him for winter.Not sandals with socks though-thats more me.His seduction techniques were quoting all the best bits of Adrians sex life from the diaries.'Get them laughing',as they say!He had it all.Now I dont want any of you visualizing this scenario.Im not here to provide men with erotic stories.To make sure of that Ill add that I was still wearing my combat gear after a session at army cadets.

Mark,Radcliffe. (12/11/2009 at 15:44)

Angie33..Am nearer to flipping than flitting or flirting...I was referring to a qwerty keyboard.

tiggerluc, somewhere in shaw (12/11/2009 at 15:51)

Well Angie some men like a lady in uniform.

Angie33 , Manchester (12/11/2009 at 15:52)

Its ok Mark.I understand.I thought you may have a sense of humour.Sorry -My mistake.

Angie33 , Manchester (12/11/2009 at 15:55)

tiggerluc.Really?With big muscles and a beard?

Mark,Radcliffe. (12/11/2009 at 15:59)

Angie33..I do have a sense of humour,but I wasnt sure if I had offended in anyway,and thus clarification.Just put it down to my sex.

Esso Blue, Manchester (12/11/2009 at 17:08)

syphilis in the 45-64 age group has risen by 139 per cent? some people never learn,yuk.

Idroid, city centre (12/11/2009 at 17:29)

(syphilis in the 45-64 age group has risen by 139 per cent? some people never learn,yuk. )

Come on now, isn't sex a place when we become our primal selves? It's an outlet for the ultimate expression of who we are. Who we are is defined by society and our personal interactions with others, especially as a child, so that informs sex and sexuality as much as it does day to day living, just in a different way.

Off course, some people have sex like a shy person in front of an audience, which is a rubbish way to play with your particular social conditioning. So is going all hell for leather with gay abandon though.
You always need to have an element of control in most things you do in life and sex is different, but it's harder getting the balance right in that particular area. Let's have lots of fun, but not fun at any cost. Be clever about it.

Idroid, city centre (12/11/2009 at 17:58)

(You always need to have an element of control in most things you do in life and sex is *no* different, but it's harder getting the balance right in that particular area.)

Andanotherthing, Mcr (12/11/2009 at 20:11)

There is of course another take on this story. The over 60's are the so called swinging generation of free love. I would suggest that they have a reputation to maintain...I doubt most research on sexual or private matters people exaggerate.

Mrs Jammy, Sitting on the settee (12/11/2009 at 21:49)

Angie33 - Bit more info than I think we needed to be honest!!

As for 'I'm a z list celebrity and I'll do anything for cash' - can we just leave them out there and let the wild animlas deal with them? And as for everyone being on Peter Andre's side - I would like to take them both out to sea and dump them overboard!! Who cares!!

What with this coming back on, strictly can't dance and crap factor I think I might just go and throw my tv out of the window for all the use it will be to me lately. Why has tv dumbed down so much? Whats wrong with putting a few documentaries (not docusoaps) on for a change and learning something?

Esso Blue, Manchester (13/11/2009 at 03:14)

Idroid, city centre
12/11/2009 at 17:29

You are wright about being clever about it, because, who wants to end up walking around with a brain that on the inside looks like a sea sponge full of holes.

Angie33 , Manchester (13/11/2009 at 09:21)

Its much easier as an older woman to stay safe.Not so much that there are less opportunities, more that many have by then fine tuned their likes and dislikes and dont feel driven .I remember well the feelings of regret and remorse when Id know that a partner was definately not for me after the first time and the romantic build up.All the regret and remorse that followed,similar to drinking too much and doing something stupid.Its so good to be past all that.The rise in STD,s is extremely worrying.The idea that people can damage their fertility or lose their life isnt something I worried about .Getting pregnant was the only worry.I dont think the dangers are hammered home enough.The leaflet was a good idea,but I think the message about condoms isnt strong or far reaching enough.Sex education is so important,and although I never had any and didnt tell my own children much,and would still skirt around such matters with them even now,I understand the importance with regard to grandchildren and Im finding it much easier, as once started,they keep up the pace of learning with questions that they want answered,but also can call a halt ,where anything may be too much information.Im aware theyve been given a lot of wrong information in the playground and now they can check it out .Im aware at how innocent people my age can be with regard to sexual matters.In the soaps,where they would have chance to create storylines to inform on these matters its just constant murders or sex without the responsibility.The worst that can happen is they may get pregnant.Thats going back to the 60's and not a good message to older people who may be sexually active and dont have to worry about pregnancy.I like the post from Idroid.A relaxed attitude,fun,but staying safe.I no longer feel queasy about the even older generation than me having a loving,healthy sex life,or just simply having fun.Sex has only been one of the things that have changed and got better with age.Being confident to resolve the small conflicts in life,between ,family or in friendships came late in life.The confidence to challenge injustice.Feelings of less pressure to conform.Id give into pressure sometimes when I was younger,but never be able to keep up the new me.Less worried what people think.I dont feel the pressure to learn new things,learn a language,visit other countries,go to classes or any other kind of self improvement.Im happy just to build on what I already know.I accept my responsibilities towards my family,friends and neighbours.Self respect means a lot.I know Im not and never will be perfect and its OK.I can accept my failings.When everything is telling me Im no good,a failure,not loving enough,untidy,lazy,worthless I know now it will pass.The best thing is that many young people I meet already have this confidence due to a better and often more appropriate education.I read a blogg recently about a particular health problem that Ive had to deal with for many years.The author is very young and had all the insights that have taken me decades to learn about my own issues and condition.Thats how important education is.Maybe I babble on a lot on here.Maybe Im self indulgent.Maybe Im wasting time in stating what I already know.But the flip side of that is Ive spent a big part of my older life listening,and still do.Something else that came in the later years.The ability to listen,without always trying to offer advice or solutions.Right Im off to read other comments.Better get my grumpy hat on!

Angie33 , Manchester (13/11/2009 at 10:52)

Mrs Jammy.Lots more where that came from.Its easy.When you see my name dont read it.If your concerned about dumbing down and want more educational documentaries,why read MEN comments.You couldnt get dumber.At least I have the excuse that its research into apathy.

Jan Elliott (13/11/2009 at 13:29)

Angie33, you have said all I want to say about mature sex - Ok, perhaps a break in the paragraphs would have made it perfect, but I too have had great fun with younger men, who appreciate the older woman, and know all they need to know about sex!! I have not had that many men in my life due to preferring a long relationship, and being loyal to the man I was with at the time. That said, I work with youngsters in their 20's who recoil at the very idea of older people having sex, or even having any relationship at an older age! Do they not realise that it is what we all have as a goal, so as not to spend our dotage alone and sad?? Get some real values, and learn that life is not all about spending your time gawping in the mirror, struggling to "stay young"- just look after yourself, keep healthy, stay interesting, keep your sense of humour (far sexier than make-up!);and develop all that is best about YOU. By the way, I live with a very fit 57 year old, who is the light of my life! :)

Angie33 , Manchester (13/11/2009 at 14:02)

Yes Jan .Sorry about no paragraphs.I used to do a lot of writing and had overload and could hardly write for some time,or spell.This is how I write now as If I think too much about paras,layout etc.The problem comes back.Whereas most people find neat paragraphs easy to do and read I feel satisfaction at the 'shape' of the block of writing,as I may find a picture satisfying or nicely balanced.Its not a problem and I get someone else to write formal letters.Also I find it easier to read posts written like mine.I dont do it to annoy people.

Angie33 , Manchester (13/11/2009 at 14:13)

Oh and Jan.Good to hear youve found someone special.

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