MYRA Hindley wanted to kill herself in prison - but believed it was an unforgivable `mortal sin' worse than her own brutal murders.

The revelation is contained in Hindley's private correspondence spanning the time of her early court appearances in 1965 to her death 36 years later.

The letters, disclosed by the M.E.N. today, paint an intimate picture of an often vain and delusional woman who became first angry, then depressed at the prospect of dying in jail.

The letters reveal Hindley:

Demanded to have her hair bleached while awaiting trial for the murder of Edward Evans, Lesley Ann Downey and John Kilbride, because she was `irritated' the Press had noticed her roots were showing

Went on hunger strike after prison officers caught her in a `compromising position' with a fellow inmate and stripped her of privileges for two weeks

Accused former Home Secretary Leon Brittan - who turned down her bid for parole in 1985 - of being `barbaric, callous and downright sadistic' by keeping her in jail

Was angered at being `bracketed' with other serial killers `such as Dennis Nilsen and Rose West, and that awful cannibal [Jeffrey] Dahmer'

Claimed she wanted to write a book about the Moors murders - and donate the proceeds to charities helping abused children

Suffered a vicious throttling attack by another prisoner which left her with bruising around her neck and a `nasty' black eye

Thoughts

Planned to move abroad with a new identity if she was ever released.

In one letter, written to then Home Secretary Douglas Hurd in 1987, Hindley talked openly of her thoughts about suicide.

The devout Catholic claimed God had forgiven her murders - but would never forgive her if she killed herself.

"Ian Brady was quoted as allegedly saying he'll confess if he is given the means to kill himself afterwards," she wrote. "He no doubt now regrets his ambition from as long ago as 1970, to get out of Home Office clutches as he put it, and into a mental hospital. Had he not hoisted himself with his own petard, he'd be able to commit suicide in prison. I'm allowed no such luxury.

"I believe suicide to be a mortal sin and one that cannot be forgiven, unlike the mortal sins I recently confessed to and received absolution from."

But another letter - written to the Home Office three years later by the governor of Hindley's prison, Cookham Wood, Kent - suggested Hindley WAS by then considered a genuine suicide risk.

The letter noted how Hindley had a visit from her solicitor to make a will, adding: "I believe… [this] is her way of informing us that she is contemplating suicide if the result of her current review does not offer her some hope of release in the foreseeable future.

"This may be purely a gesture but I do believe that it is only recently that she has accepted the possibility that she may never be released and I believe she has the character to make a genuine suicide bid."

The tone of both letters is a far cry from the vanity displayed by Hindley while she was held on remand in Risley jail near Warrington in 1965, ahead of her eventual trial and conviction.

On December 13 her Hyde-based solicitors Bostock, Yates and Chronnell wrote to the prison governor pointing out that she was `naturally a brunette, but for many years has had her hair bleached'.

Their letter said: "Owing to the fact that at Risley she has no facilities to continue treatment, the dark roots are becoming very obvious. This fact has been the subject of Press comment, which is naturally a source of irritation to our client.

"More important is the fact questions of identification will certainly arise when the case is ultimately tried at assizes which may be as long as six months ahead.

"Unless she is permitted to have her hair treated she will not be recognizable as the same person and unnecessary confusion may be caused."

Hindley's demand was eventually met and a hairdresser was brought into the prison.

The documents show how Hindley's attitude to both her possible parole - and the governments that denied it - changed dramatically in the 1980s as the realisation dawned she might never be released.

In 1985 she accused then Home Secretary Leon Brittan of condemning her to a `living death' after he upheld a decision she should wait a further five years for a formal review of her prison sentence.

In a bitter handwritten letter she claimed she was being kept behind bars only as a matter of political expediency.

Sadistic

She wrote: "To be told that my review will not be for another five years is barbaric, callous and downright sadistic.

"Obviously you do not regard me as having any human emotions at all.

"You cannot envisage the utter devastation, despair and absolute hopelessness that swamped me when the prison governor, with his deputy present, had the unenviable task of informing me of your decision.

"It took place in the doctor's office since I am at present in sick bay for what was diagnosed as situational depression.

"I would rather have had the doctor tell me I had a terminal disease with only a short time to live than be told I have an interminable living death disease."

Hindley added: "Said that we in Britain don't have political prisoners, well I am undeniably an exception."

But - after she had admitted her role in the murders - Hindley wrote to Mr Brittan's successor, Mr Hurd, and parole chiefs saying she did not want to be considered for parole. The letter described how she accepted being regarded as a monster.

Hindley added: "Already you will know that my seeing the Greater Manchester Police has been represented as my self-seeking of parole. I know this not to be true."

Referring to her intended book, Hindley said: "I hope in some way what I am able to relate will enable a wiser understanding of the awful complexities surrounding the abuse of children."

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