THERE was a time, dear reader, when the words `man' and `moisturiser' simply did not belong in the same sentence.

Unless that sentence was: "Me man, me don't use moisturiser."

But, how times have changed - male vanity well and truly walks among us. And nothing reveals the extent of this more than the collection of creams, scrubs, rubs and gels that you find in the high street chemist.

You see, not so long ago, men across the land were a butch, hardy lot. Many had beards that would have had Moses reaching for the Mach 3.

Others, perhaps making an effort to attract a female, would shave with nothing more advanced than a broken bottle. If they were a bit girlie, they would splash something on afterwards to take the heat out of the shaving experience, something masculine like Four Star petroleum.

Every morning, men would trudge off to their place of work, their necks red and glowing, the only pale parts the bits of loo roll stuck to their many bleeding nicks and wounds.

But now, walk into any department store and - lo! - gasp with wonder at the hordes of pampering delights that beckon the modern man over to their gleaming shelves.

No longer is a man's sole source of grooming a bottle of Hai Karate. No! Razors with three, no wait, four - no hang on, they've just brought out another one - FIVE blades are available. Even a Ninja would baulk at so many cutting implements on one device but us chaps are picking them up in droves. Why? Because we want smooth skin.

Imagine saying THAT in the locker room back in the 1970s.

And, after the actual shaving (probably with a gel that contains something exotic like tea tree oil) comes the hallowed moisturiser, the true indicator of how far man has come in the bathroom cabinet stakes.

No one bats an eyelid these days if you say you use a moisturiser, or `post shave balm' if you want to sound a bit more tough.

But there's still one product that's perhaps viewed with suspicion by even the most modern man: tinted moisturiser.

You can imagine Peter Kay's dad saying `Tinted moisturiser?' in his best `garlic bread?' voice.

But, as in the movie 2001, when an apeman tosses an animal jawbone into the air and the scene cuts to a space station orbiting the Earth, man's grooming evolution has also gone stratospheric. Blue Stratos-pheric in fact.