MOST parents of teenagers would describe the rows with their feisty offspring as a nightmare.

But new research suggests that heated arguments between parents and teens can be a good thing.

More than a third of mothers studied by researchers at the State University of New York described conflict as strengthening their relationship, while 41 per cent of their adolescents thought the same.

Adolescent development specialist Tabitha Holmes says: "Families that had intense conflicts felt it was beneficial. However if it gets too intense, it does actually get damaging."

Benefits of rowing include learning and problem-solving, improved relationships and personal development. The major factor was that adolescents felt they had a different understanding of their parents.

Perspective

Holmes said: "They understood their perspective and their feelings, and felt like they got inside their mothers' heads. They really respected them for sticking to their guns."

She stresses that the `beneficial' rows were those where the teenagers were able to get their point across, `even if it's just yelling back and forth'.

Just 16 per cent of adolescents in the study felt that conflict damaged relations with their parents, while 29 per cent of mums thought the same.

Mothers were more likely than their offspring to feel distressed after an argument.

Teen expert Gill Hines, who has written a book, Whatever!, on parenting teens, says: "Rows can drive parents and children further apart if they're not fully resolved.

"Parents and children have to learn better to listen to each other's point of view and to find a compromise - although that's hard to do while someone's yelling."

She warns that teenagers often get their own way because: "Many parents bend over backwards to avoid rows as they feel it solves nothing. I also know young people who'll `up the ante' on a row to make sure their parent will capitulate.

"In an ideal situation, where parent and child can argue then resolve their differences, I think they do indeed feel closer as a result. However, not every parent manages this."

Tweet