Sam and Evan are a transgender couple in a gay male relationship – who were both born female. Confused? A TV documentary is set to reveal all and show the shocking prejudice faced by the couple on the Rochdale housing estate where they live, writes Helen Tither.
Circling menacingly on their bikes, hoods hiding their faces, the crowd of teenagers start throwing eggs. The couple on the receiving end of their vicious taunts have done nothing more than walk to the bus stop. It’s bullying, in broad daylight – and it’s caught on camera.
But not even the TV cameras make this gang of teenage tormentors stop as they point and jeer. To see such prejudice exposed on screen is shocking.
Yet for the transgender couple living in Rochdale, it’s a fact of everyday life.
Sam and Evan: From Girls to Men tells the story of two young people, born female, who have made the transition to male together as a couple. For many on their council estate, the fact they now live as gay men is hard to
accept.
“I suppose that’s why the documentary was made, because it’s something new and different – it’s seen as a big deal that we are both going through the transition together,” remarks Sam, a well-spoken 19-year-old who moved up from Surrey to live with Evan.
During the year-long film, the couple both undergo testosterone treatment. But underneath their clothes they still have what would be classed as female bodies, as they have not had surgery – although this is something they may consider in the future.
“We don’t ever sit and talk about our transition together,” adds Sam. “I suppose the prejudice is scary. But I just think all those ‘hard’ men are the ones who are insecure – they are scared that me being male undermines them being male.”
Nevertheless, prejudice exists. Which is why the couple have only agreed to tell their story without revealing their surnames.
Their hope is that the documentary will educate people about transgender issues. For those who still have trouble understanding, Evan, 21, has a simple explanation.
“What you are born with between your legs, that’s your sex,” he says. “Gender is how you feel, what’s between your ears.
“It’s frustrating that gender is so set in stone, life would be much easier if it wasn’t. But gender is the first thing people want to know when you come out of the womb – is it a boy or a girl? From then on it’s all pink or blue.”
Both Sam and Evan speak eloquently about the emotional trials they faced growing up. Sam, who has three brothers, was always seen as a bit of a ‘tomboy’. However, going to an all-girls school presented its own challenges.
“I was never happy at school, I didn’t fit in with a lot of things,” he says. “I never particularly had much of an ideal impressed upon me of how I should be as a woman – my mum is quite a feminist and told me to be who I want to be.
“It was probably when I was about 12 when I figured out I really wanted to be a boy.”
Today Sam does not like to see images of himself when he was younger – and did not want them included in this article. He is also frank about his dislike for people asking him about his ‘birth name’.
“You shouldn’t ask a transgender person that,” he says. “It’s a bit like somebody asking to see a picture of you on the worst day of your life.
“I spent years trying to be a girl – I grew my hair really long and tried wearing women’s clothes but I haven’t got very good dress sense when it comes to girls’ outfits.”
Today the pair wear ‘binders’ to flatten their chests and talk openly about a host of other transgender issues during the film. “I will probably have chest surgery in the future – I’ve known people who have broken their ribs from wearing a binder,” says Sam.
However, between Sam’s dry wit and Evan’s endearingly funny charm, there is a lot of warmth to be found in their on-screen story.
There’s the karaoke night, for instance, just before Evan starts testosterone treatment, when mum Cath quips his voice will soon become “more Neil Diamond than Celine Dion” once the hormones kick in.
Unlike Sam, Evan does refer to growing up as Yvonne and how, at times, it became a double life.
“When all the girls at school started wearing make-up and getting boyfriends – that just didn’t interest me,” he explains. “I had to go on YouTube to learn how to put lip-gloss on, to try and fit in. For a while I had come out to my friends as Evan but was going home to my mum as Yvonne.”
The journey from female to male has not been easy, and there have certainly been emotional ups and downs along the way.
But now, as the couple move to Manchester, they are looking forward to a fresh start away from the bullying.
“It’s great to have Sam in my life and be going through the same things as me,” says Evan.
“But what’s better is just having someone who loves me for being me.”
» Sam and Evan: From Girls to Men is on BBC3 on Monday at 9pm.
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Surely somethings can and must be done about those who torment this couple. They have done nothing wrong yep they get taunted and eggs thrown at them. Why, if this is caught on camera, have these tormentors not been arrested. This couple should not have to live like this.
This is why 'PC' exists
The 'anti PC' mob is merely an atempt to keep the power where it has always lain - white, heterosexual, middle class.
Live and let live for heaven's sake. If it doesn't affect you in any way then leave people alone. Otherwise you are the one who isn't quite right. I'm in no way interested in gay matters or trans-gender issues, but it doesn't mean I am against the people involved.
What a sad but heartwarming story at the same time. Best of luck to you both.
How dare they be 'different'!
I'm confused. They were both born women, still have women's bodies, have had no surgery and have no plans for surgery... i.e. they are still women. What is transgendered about that? They are just 2 women that live together. That makes them lesbians, not transgendered?? I'm not being prejudice at all, it's a genuine query!
I knew someone who was a homophobic bully in high school, turns out he is actually gay himself. Most bully's like this are just trying to tell themselves it's disgusting to hide there own emotions, quite sad really. I hope the police can now step in and resolve this bullying as no-one deserves to live in fear of tormentors!!
Evan, you were my best friend for years and years and I really hope that I did help support you in some way and didn't make things worse. I'm so proud of the strong, confident person you have become and I really hope that you and Sam are happy together =)
Laura xx
I know these lads and they're both lovely. Let's hope Manchester people will give them a warm welcome as they settle into their new home!
Oh dear, the "national media" once again exposing how intolerant, backward, nasty & bigoted we all are up here. Oldham, Burnley etc and now onto Rochdale eh. I thought we northerners were meant to be the friendliest people in the country though???
Anyone perceived as vastly different to the norm on a housing estate full of scally gangs, are likely to be blatantly bullied and harassed, because nobody stops them. Either because other people agree with the bullying, don't take it seriously or they are fearful of sticking up for them. We live in a society of brainless thugs and cowards.
I hope they are shown up to be as pathetic and ridiculous as they sound. Hopefully, they'll watch it and feel ashamed of their behavior or they're made to feel ashamed by the wider community, so these two can rightly live in peace.
And people wonder why those who find themsleves part of minority groups in the UK feel the need to assert their right to exist with public demonstrations and events like Pride?
This story incorporates two of my biggest pet-hates, irrational prejudices based on sheer ignorance, and food waste. Isn't there supposed to be a recession on for goodness sake? Who can afford to be throwing eggs around willy-nilly? I certainly can't. Where exactly did this happen? I've half a mind to get down there with a spatula and see if I can salvage an omelette.
Like Felix, I know Evan and Sam and I'm proud to do so.
But it's worth asking, are they being harassed because they're gay, or because they're transgender?
And why are the police not prepared to act against the bullies? It isn't as though they're powerless to do so- even if this harassment is not regarded as a hate crime (being transphobic and/or homophobic in nature) by the police, then it should be regarded as common assault.
It is not just Council Estates where this type of unforgiving prejudices exists. Some persons who have some preconceived idea that if someone is different to them. Is a prime target for this daylight bullying.
We are always speaking of education, unfortunately, the subject of gender is not stressed enough so these young thugs. I was always taught to be tolerant with anyone whom I considered to be different to me.
These silly hooded teenager, need to be taught, that selecting some individuals to torment, and bullying, is not bravado, but just small-uneducated cowardice cretins
Rochdale will be a poorer place when Sam and Evan move to Manchester.
Good luck and bet wishes for your future!
Hopefully the documentary will highlight this and stop the victimisation. The bullying is caused by lack of knowledge and fear of the unknown.
Not only will it help others in the same situation, but make the public more aware of what's going on.
Bless you guys, I regularly get abuse, harassment and threats off scallies just from dressing different to them - I can't imagine how horrendous they must be to you, with your very existence being anathema to all chavs stand for. Best of luck for your journeys, hopefully if you help expose ignorance you may make these scummers realise just what wastes of life they are.
There are far too many Neaderthals in the Northern mill towns, they shout at people because they are different in any way bald, tall, fat, pretty, and they'll shout, however when the shouts turn abusive then it's a different matter.
Mentally ill, gay, facial disfigurement, trans, and they can shout some really nasty things, even stop and become agressive. Police most often do nothing sometimes even make matters worse. Usually it's guys doing the shouting but there's often girls encouraging them, often egging them on to violence.
With these two it's unlikely that the tormentors parents are unaware, but that's the the lib dems parents can't be held liable for the damage their kids do (really well done guys - not!) I know of one person who was a bit too different driven from an estate by parents who encouraged their kids to break every window in the house, and set the car alight. The Police did nothing what so ever to help, and the fire brigade thought it was funny. You can't imagine these kinds of stories if the difference was because of race, it wouldn't be tolerated.
The problem is years of leftie liberal laissez faire attitudes to criminal behaviour, especially that of kids who can simply behave in any way they please.
Simple solution bring back the cane - and the birch for the adults, and make the parents fully responsible for the kids behaviour, then we'll see an end to this kind of behaviour.
Good luck to the inspirational couple here. There is such prejudice around for transgender couples and many thousands of people I would imagine can never really be who they want to be because of complete fear of being rejected and bullied by society. We live in such ignorance still. I applaud you both for having the strength and courage for being who you really are and things will only change if the MAJORITY stand up against the minority of ignorant bullies and put them firmly back in their place. We can do that by supporting transgender issues and understanding it fully. I read this article and googled about it and found a brilliant site called mermaids and when I read the personal stories on there I realised I too (although I always accepted people) had been clueless. If I was you guys move and get away from these mindless thugs and stay safe. And everyone elses comments are right. You are strong, intelligent and inspirational and you are being bullied because you are brave enough to express who you really are and they are envious because they lack that strength. It is as simple as that. Don't ever change to suit them. Bullies are simply people who are holding their hands up and saying "hello, we are the weak people, look at us", and people who are targeted are the ones who are holding their hands up saying "hello, we are the strong courageous people who have been brave enough to be ourselves". All the best to you both guys.
“But what’s better is just having someone who loves me for being me.”
she doesnt love you for you, she loves you when you try to be something you're not! you will never be a man even after the surgery because men are built differently to women. how will doctors change every biological difference between men and women?
Sam and Evan. Very proud of you guys for being in this! Gutted I can't watch it as I'm not in the UK... but where there's a will there's a way.
Hope the move to Manchester goes well.
Sam and Evan. Very proud of you guys for being in this! Gutted I can't watch it as I'm not in the UK... but where there's a will there's a way.
Hope the move to Manchester goes well.
My son is 10, we watched the news clips together, and he said to me " Mum, why does it matter to people why people are who they are as long as you are a good person, it does not matter, their kids will grow up with the same horrible attitudes"
It made me proud, that I have taught my son to accept people for who they are, to be kind and to respect people, no matter what their gender, their sexcuality etc .
Good luck to the couple, and hope they have happier times together in Manchester, I honestly believe that love conquers all, and if they can be strong for eachother, they can have a happy relationship, that isnt tarred with the small mindedness of a minority.
I lived on the failinge estate from 2003-5 with my boyfriend & couldnt have asked for better neighbours, so to you on here who say council estates are full of scally gangs etc etc , I disagree