To make matters worse, my target is out of sight, over the prow of a hill and the rough consists of gorse trees so spiky and tangled it may as well be infested by alligators.
This is the toughest of tests for the best of golfers but on a day like today it's a battle for an 18 handicapper like me - a battle that I'm losing fast.
So where am I? The south west of Scotland? The east coast of Ireland? The Lancashire coastline?
Well, actually, I'm in Anglesey.
It's one of Britain's best-kept secrets that this scenic island, more famous for fishing trips and Welsh lamb, is home to nine golf courses and two of them, Bull Bay and Holyhead, are as challenging as they are picturesque.
I've driven the two hours from Manchester to sample the courses with an Anglesey Golf Pass with which five rounds of golf costs the holder a princely £79.
And I'm staying at the Trearddur Bay Hotel with dinner, bed and breakfast. Holyhead Golf Club, just a long iron away from the hotel, is my first stop.
Tough
It's a par 68 (71 from the back tees) heathland course cut through heather, bracken and gorse with tight fairways. I should feel at home on this course because it was designed by James Braid, the same man who mapped out my home course at Swinton Park.
But there's not a tree in sight on this track and little by way of comparison other than the variety in the shape of the holes.
It's tough and I've no chance of making par on my first outing in testing conditions . . . but I'll be back on a sunny day. Henllys Hall is the next up and the contrast could not be more marked.
Situated half a mile outside Beaumaris on the opposite side of the island this mature parkland course is laid out in the grounds of an old mansion with the mountains of Snowdonia as the backdrop. Natural features, streams and ponds, are used to their best advantage and its elevated position gives great views across the Menai Straits.
It's much more forgiving than Holyhead but still provides a tough test of golf in sympathetic surroundings.
Magnificent
Bull Bay is regarded by many as the jewel in the crown of Anglesey golf courses and has been described as a hidden gem.
It's not difficult to see why. The course was designed by Herbert Fowler in 1913 and follows the natural features of the land; climbing, falling, twisting and turning with rocky outcrops and that vicious gorse at every corner.
Sometimes, you think you have hit the fairway only to find your ball has been gobbled up by the rough while some of the greens are on raised plateaux and have to be approached blind.
A magnificent golf course.
Spectacular
Anglesey Golf Club at Rhosneigr provides further contrast. It's a links course set among sand dunes within a wildlife conservation area where sheep are allowed to graze.
It's totally flat but don't be deceived: stray off the fairway and you are in trouble.
There are a variety of rooms at the Trearddur Bay Hotel and mine was both comfortable and spacious with a sea view.
A handsome cooked breakfast set me up for the day's golf and the evening meal (I chose Anglesey rack of lamb) was spectacular.
A night's stay at the Trearddur Bay Hotel (Tel: 01407 860 301, trearddurbayhotel.co.uk ) with breakfast costs £76.25 per person per night for a standard double.
The Anglesey Golf Pass costs £79 (Tel: 0845 450 5885, golfanglesey.com).
Alternatively three night stay at the Trearddur Bay Hotel with green fees for five of the islands best courses all included, £110-per person-per-night dinner, bed and breakfast.
Rates are based on two people sharing. Group Bookings and golf clubs and societies welcome.
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