IN the week that Britney Spears announced she is to appear in Crossroads, we can for once bring some happy news. S Club Hannah and S Club Paul have announced an S Club romance. The band met the news of two of their really good mates getting together by announcing: ''It's just like two of your really good mates getting together. It's made us all even closer.''

Still, it's the usual doom and gloom in Spiceworld, with reports that Mel B has walked out after a ''heated'' row with Victoria, in which she branded her ''a cow''. Posh was apparently ''unsympathetic'' after the Yorkshire Terror was dropped by Virgin. She is now concentrating on her TV presenting career.

There's yet more bad news for celebrity drug-user Brian Harvey. The former East 17 ''sensation'' reacted angrily to news that his Wyclef-assisted single, Loving You, had only made it to number 20. ''I'm never going to succeed,'' he sobbed, quite correctly. ''I feel like I've had the carpet pulled from underneath me. Other people who can't even sing have all the support, but it's just never going to happen for me. It's all just bollocks really.'' That's that sorted then.

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