THE pop community stands shocked and shaken at the news that Five have decided to go their separate ways.
Happily, Sean Conlon's glandular fever appears to have cleared up with the news, and we live in hope that Ritchie Neville will get a part in Emmerdale Farm sometime soon.
Elsewhere, the passing of summer is having curious effects on people. Kim Basinger has decided to restart her acting career and stands in line to play Eminem's mother, Kim Mathers-Briggs in a forthcoming biopic.
Considering the resemblance รถ should we assume that there is something Basinger hasn't been telling us? A quiet week on Britneywatch, considering the imminence of I'm A Slave 4 U, but we can bring you news that Madonna's transformation into an English Dutchess is finally complete.
If the rumours are true, the queen of pop trash will present this year's Britart snoozefest, the Turner Prize. Maybe it'll prompt her to make another book of blue photographs.
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