THE OFFICIAL SONG:

World At Your Feet é Embrace
LIKE it or not, the might of the FA is likely to get Embraceés tune to the top spot in this yearés World Cup song contest. Embrace by numbers and more Coldplay than Chris Martin, World At Your Feet is an allegory, a love song for the beautiful game, if you will, that dares not utter any words that might imply (whisper it now) football. Instead, it prefers to speak about lifting stuff up with éone proud kissé and things coming that could be éour timeé, and ités fair to say that critics have given it something of a lukewarm reception.

THE BEST OF THE REST:

TERRACE CHANT:

Stan's World Cup Song - Stan Boardman
POLITICAL correctness may still be a fuzzy concept to Liverpool comic Stan Boardman and there is certainly no irony in his depiction of the Germans as chippy bombers. But Stan's adaptation of the campfire favourite She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain is one that even the most forgetful supporter could memorise, and with lines like "There'll be 30 lads with ASBOs wearing tags", it's the hands-down winner.

SONG:

Eanie Meany - Jim Noir
IF adverts maketh the hit single, then Daveyhulme's Jim Noir could be about to earn some filthy lucre for his contribution to the World Cup music showdown. Eanie Meany has the sweetest tune and the most adorable lyrics of the summer and, OK, aside from the inclusion of the word "football", it has absolutely nothing to do with the tournament. But Embrace's official song doesn't go near the word football with a barge pole, so let's not split hairs.

FAN EFFORT:

England's One - The Greasy Spoons
ON paper, there's not much right with The Greasy Spoons' charity offering, England's One. The singing is pretty dire and the music isn't exactly a technical triumph. But it wins this round because it sums up the positive sense of national unity that the World Cup is capable of creating without taking sniping jibes at the opposition. And it's also one of the few to contain a female chorus, acknowledging that football it isn't just for the lads.

THE WORST OF THE REST:

TERRACE CHANT

Who Do You Think You Are Kidding, Jurgen Klinsman? é Tonedef Allstars
SO, youéve managed a wry smile at the witty adaptation of the old Dadés Army tune; ités a bit basic, but ités funny enough to have convinced a few celebrity ésingersé onside, including 1966 World Cup goal scorer Sir Geoff Hurst, boxer Frank Bruno and Dadés Army actor Bill Pertwee, who appeals, éDonét panic Mr Eriksson, donét panicé. Essentially, ités just a few celebrities on a karaoke machine, but the tune is already cemented in the British psyche, making it infuriatingly catchy.

SONG:


Vindaloo é Fat Les
IF British Embassy staff arenét already running for cover following the news that the outrageous and offensive Vindaloo is being treated to another outing, they should be. Penned by actor Keith Allen and controversial artist Damien Hurst, Vindaloo gets the fans onside by being the simplest singalong since Hey Jude, but its sentiments are truly deplorable. Between the tiresome énah-nah-nahés, the song unashamedly seeks to put the Brits back on their long-lost pedestal via breathtakingly bad lyrics like éWhere you come from, do you put the kettle on?é and éCan I introduce you please to a lump of Cheddar cheese?é. Need I say more?

FAN EFFORT:

La La for Engerland é Cheeky Git
LET the lambasting commence. Cheeky Gités Casio keyboard effort seeks to tell the experience of the World Cup through an inevitable meeting of England and Germany in the final, and it actually relies on post-war resentment - thereés the usual mockery of Germanyés national anthem, George Formby-style banjos and catchphrases, and an unpleasant portrait of beer-swilling Brits abroad. But, ités when the groupés écheekyé singer labels the Germans ébuggersé that things seem to go one step too far.

Which is your favourite? Let us know your thoughts