It's a busy weekday afternoon and I’m ploughing through a mountain of court documents when my next client raps on my office door.
As she walks in, I’m pole-axed by the vision that appears before me; a young woman who is both barely in her twenties and barely in her dress, the tight rubber number snaking her body and nudging the margins of indecency with what it shows and what it fights to hide. Sliding into her chair she crosses long legs encased in fishnet tights and giraffe- necked stilettos. Then she begins to tell me about how she got stopped by the police for jumping a red light.
Fortunately, or otherwise, this is only make-believe, since I’ve yet to take instructions from a client who chooses to meet her lawyer dressed as a walk-on part in a porn movie.
But had this scenario been real, do you know what would have been going through my head? Would it have been a) it’s a really warm day and she didn’t need a coat b) she forgot to put her dress on or c) can the crown prove that she was driving ?
The answer wouldn’t have been any of the above. It would be that the only traffic signals this woman is concerned about is giving me the green light.
Many women may baulk at my assessment – particularly those who took part in Manchester’s lamentably named Slut Walk on Saturday, where hundreds of women donned racy outfits in response to a Canadian police officer who advised schoolgirls to ‘avoid dressing like sluts’ in order to prevent sexual assault.
Those taking part claimed women should be able to wear whatever they like in public – including racy red underwear – without being judged and their motives questioned. But, as a red-blooded alpha male, let me state unequivocally that I believe how a woman dresses (and behaves in that dress ) tells a man what’s on her mind.
I abhor rape and attacks on women and, believe me, as a criminal defence lawyer, I’ve been involved with plenty of cases where those who have been dressed in a perfectly conventional way were still victims of this heinous crime.
I also strongly believe that yes is yes and no is no. But, in the real world, a woman who behaves or dresses in a sexually provocative way conveys a certain message. A message that, ironically, can victimise men.
I speak from personal experience. At the age of 19, I went to a party having just completed my first year law exams that day. Already in a buoyant mood, I arrived at the house and was greeted by a gorgeous fellow student.
Bewitching in a skimpy dress, she threw her arms round me, kissed me passionately and led me upstairs. Things heated up quickly but literally at the critical moment she suddenly cried: ‘no, stop, what about my boyfriend?’ I was astonished.
But mustering every fibre of willpower, I leapt off the bed, pulled on my clothes and made my exit.
Disappointed? Obviously. But more significantly I was disgusted to have been manipulated and, yes, victimised.
However, both my tender legal training and moral code had blazed inside me. To have ignored her wishes would have been rape. End of career, end of future, end of everything. So, ladies, when you say you dress for yourselves and not for us males, I don’t believe you. It’s time to take responsibility for how you act and what you wear.
what does Nancy really want?
Talking of the way you look and as one lawyer to another, what does Nancy D’ell Olio really want?
In a hilarious interview in the Sunday Times colour supplement, Sven’s former lover claimed – amongst other things – that she looks 30, knows she’s fascinating and beautiful and that Sir Trevor Nunn claims she is the most intelligent person he has ever met.
Modesty aside, this woman has just the sort of qualities I’m anxious to recruit. Nancy, please send me your CV. Photo not necessary.
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I see you are still plugging away at the creative writing course.
Responsibility. That's an old-fashioned word, not part of common parlance these days. How quaint. I wonder what it means.
I hope you're not getting paid for this dross.
You've obviously got friends in the right places, but that doesn't mean you have anything interesting to say.
More rubbish in the MEN.
These comment blogs are fast becoming a complete joke.
How much would you charge to defend a celebrity accused of rape Mr Freeman ?.
Just a thought !.
Freeman, how can you of all people preach to people about taking responsibility for their actions!! the more I hear from this clown the more I detest him!!
I think your right on! i see women walking the streets of manchester on a friday night drunk and in underwear? (suspenders/stockings etc) who in their right mind would walk the streets like that. I know men dont have the right to rape women but women must take precausions against these men who think its ok to rape women.(personally i would castrate the men)But women should be made to dress (sensibly) if men walked the streets in similar undressed atire they would be arrested for indecency.
I thought for a minute I was reading a Jilly Cooper Novel in the first two paragraphs
A lot of people have probably been in similar situations, I know I have and yes I did behave like a true gentleman. However what if your situation had backfired, the other student went all the way and then, the following morning, to rid herself of guilt, she claimed to her boyfriend she was actually raped. We know this has happened, we read about it often your career and life would still have been ruined. You'd have probably got a good hiding from her boyfriend, she would have walked about as normal and some other poor sod would probably be her next unwhitting victim sometime later
I'm confused by the 'victimisation' claim in reference to the incident when the author was 19. He got a bit of slap and tickle without actual sex - I believe that it used to be called necking - if he is under the impression that ending up in bed together is a green light that penetrative sex is a definate then he needs to reassess his view of the world - does it sound like the girl was silly, drunk or carried away? yes - but she stopped the action as either party has every right to do. Does Mr Freeman think he deserves some kind of medal for not attempting to coerce the girl into sex against her will?
"Those taking part claimed women should be able to wear whatever they like in public – including racy red underwear – without being judged and their motives questioned."
NO! That was NOT the point of the march! The protesters wanted to draw attention to the fact that men should be able to control their lust and actions, even if a drunk girl wearing next to nothing has been smiling at them all night. If she does not consent to sex, the defendant cannot claim her skirt length, drunkenness or show of cleavage led him to rape her.
So feel free to judge away when you see someone wearing something you don't agree with. You can think as many horrible thoughts in your head. Just don't touch a woman unless she wants you to, it's not that difficult is it? And Mr Freeman, with all your years in the legal profession, I assume you realise it is not illegal to wear a short dress in this country. It is, however, illegal to rape. If the slutwalkers have managed to draw attention to this point, they have achieved at least one of their goals.
women dress sexily to attract a mate,its all part of the mateing game.men will look at a woman with cleavage showing, the women know what they are doing to the men when they dress like that, so drop all that womens lib stuff and accept part of the blame when a bloke comes onto them
One thing for these ladette girls to consider ... If you dress and act like a sluit; You'll get treated like one. And that does not imply you will be raped. But you will be disrespected and you will end up without a gent. But hey. So long and you can be loud and obnoxious, hey? ...
The Canadian man gave some sound advice. Perhaps he used the wrong word in 'slut', But his heart and sense of respect was in the right place.
I agree. Take responsibility for how you act. Don't rape people. Not such a tough concept after all.
All this false morality coming from a man who has got many a guilty person off on a technicality. Drink drivers are still driving around this country thanks to you and this countries backwards justice system that is ever increasingly designed to line the pockets of people like yourself.
Come back when you're not a hypocrite Freeman.
"Take responsibility for how you act "
Isn't your career based on helping people to avoid doing just that?
all lawyers and solicitors are like leeches who feed off crime.
"the only traffic signals this woman is concerned about is giving me the green light", doubt if a judge would accept that as defence should you act on it.
Nick,you are a lawyer of some repute so please consider this.
In order to minimise date rape where it is ALWAYS the man to blame,even though he may have been enticed,would it be an idea for both men and women to carry a printed consent form before,shall we say,getting to know each other? Just sign the form and off you go but it must be made clear that even after signing up for sex,both parties would still have the right to say no at any time!
The problem is, most women don't realize that man are very similar to dogs. Fortunately most men learn to control their animal instincts and grow up into very obedient pets. Some men however remain very primitive and behave like stray dogs throughout their lives, doing what they want whenever they want. As women get older they finally realize this and don't play with stray dogs.
Nancy Odellio lies about her age, that is one of the biggest lies to try to live up to so I would never want a lawyer working for me who attempts to live a lie, I don't think I would hire a lawyer to represent me who was so delusional either.
The woman on these marches around the world as making a fool of themselves and at the same time degrading themselves. Do you have no morals? Just look at yourselves. If a group of men wore next to nothing and acted in a similar manner all you women would scream they were a bunch of perverts and demand they be locked up for indecent exposure. You can't have it both ways. If any guy out there get locked up for not wearing much just claim you were making a statement like the slut walkers were.
It's always a case that men wearing nothing get arrested for indecent exposure - like what happened the other day in Piccadilly Gardens near the fountains apparently some women complained that a homeless guy was down to his underwear and washing in the fountains and a whole van load of cops dragged him away. Yet as soon as the sun comes out and the gardens are full of almost naked women sunbathing and running through the fountains - yet nothing happens to these ladies. Why? It's because women can do what they want and it's there 'right'.
i think you can get arrested for what you wear. only last week I was arrested in the park while walking the dog. I was wearing the wifes knickers and bra at the time.
We all have to comply to laws (or we should do) if you ask politely most people ignore the request but if you use the word comply people listen and usually comply that makes it safer for women if they dress in a decent way in public.i see women showing their breasts on the streets when they are tanked up and that sort of behaviour sends the wrong message out to a lot of men.....
How dare Nick Freeman suggest that all women are anything less than perfect.
After reading all this, makes me glad I'm gay.
A lot of people are misunderstanding what the marches are about and what we are fighting for. They have helped to raise awareness of victim blaming and rape myths which are still a big problem all around the world and in the UK too. Back to the article- he felt "victimised" that a woman changed her mind? And he dares to say that while taking part in (real) victim blaming. Does he even understand what a victim is.
More women get raped in PJs and lounge wear than 'slutty' clothes. Clothes don't make normal men into rapists. They're already rapists. Clothes and victims are not to blame. Rapists are the reason for rape.